Monday, September 3, 2007

Open Letter to Biting Insects

Dear Mosquitoes, Spiders, Biting Flies, and all other manner of biting insects:

Please stop biting Claire on her eyelid. I realize that it's probably a big joke to the entire guild of biting insects, but this particular joke has gone too far. For the fourth time this summer, the sixth time in her life, Claire's eyelid has swollen to twice it's normal size. Thank goodness for Benadryl which is reducing the swelling enough for the child to see.

Beyond her discomfort, there is the question of her appearance. Yes, I do realize that is the funny part. But seriously? It is difficult enough for me to deal with her proclivity for nudity and aversion to shoes. The staggering caused by vision impairment added to the drooping eye on top of the nudity and general shoelessness makes my sweet, smart daughter look like she's stumbling into the street after an ill-advised bar fight. Yesterday, I had to chase the most white-trash-looking toddler on the face of the planet onto a mid-game soccer field while strangers looked on and clucked in concern for the well-being of said child.

Once again, I beg of you to cease and desist. You've had your joke. Now leave my child alone. And remember - winter is coming. You'll get yours.




Mary Witzl said...

Do I know how you feel! When our kids were small, we bought a huge mosquito net and managed to rig it up over their beds. This kept them bite-free during the night, but during the day they got bitten so badly it was awful. Worse still, their nursery school teachers refused to believe that their bites were mosquito bites. I had to go to a dermatologist to get him to convince them that some children -- Caucasians in particular -- react badly to mosquitos.

Here in Scotland, we have midges, similar to no-see-ums in America, and a pain in the neck. I'm sure that biting insects have some purpose in this world, but I often wonder what it is. 'Food for bats' just isn't enough of an answer for me...

Christy said...

Oh, those little teensy biting ones are the worst! They get in your ears!

Mary Witzl said...

Their favorite parts of human anatomy are the eyelid, the area around the mouth, and the rim of the ear. Scratch any of those areas -- which you certainly will after being bitten -- and you soon look like you've been knocked around pretty well. And they're too tiny to whack -- that's the worst part.