13 Annoyances

1. You know how the competitors on The Amazing Race have to unzip their clues? Then after the unzipping, some of them drop the little strip of paper on the ground. That annoys me! Don't be spreading your litter around the world! Put it in your pocket!
2. I don't like it when women call themselves derogatory names. It's bad enough when other people call us bitches and whores, we shouldn't do it to ourselves. It's not funny or clever to demean yourself.
3. I cannot stand it when baggers put my loose produce into a plastic bag before putting it in my canvas bag. If I had wanted my onions and garlic in plastic, I would have used the produce bags in the produce department.
4. And on that same note, I am also annoyed when baggers put gallons of milk into my canvas bags. See that neat handle on the milk jug? That suffices.
5. While we're talking about the grocery store, let's talk about the checkout lanes. I can deal with the candy and magazines in front of the checkout. Lately, though, the registers seem to be at the end of an ever-expanding aisle of last chance merchandise. There are banana stands, carts filled with clearance items, special cardboard POP displays for everything from tea to spices. Do people really buy that much crap on impulse while waiting to check out?
6. Lately, the evening news has been annoying me. I cannot even stand to watch it because the entire world's worth of news has been boiled down to 5 stories. There's the leading story, one more news story, a health news item, one part of the current 3 part in depth series, and a cute piece at the end. Seriously? In the whole world, only two important things happen on any given day?
7. The sliding door on my shower annoys me by simply existing.
8. Everybody in my family asks me where the remote is. I guarantee that if I had the remote last, it will be on the big chair or on top of the entertainment center. If you can't find the remote, it's because you didn't put it away.
9. The upstairs telephone emits one warning beep before the battery dies. I barely have time to say "OhcrapthephoneisdyingIwillcallyouback" before I'm disconnected. Is 20 seconds really too much to ask?
10. My neighbor waters her lawn excessively. The sprinkler reaches through the fence to a 10" strip on our lawn. So we always have a strip of lawn that's longer than the rest.
11. People who make jumps in logic, ie, make 1+1 = 543.
12. Spam = unsolicited email sent indiscriminately to a mailing list. Marketing = solicited or unsolicited email sent to a mailing list composed of people who might reasonably be expected to purchase a product. Don't confuse the two. That's fine if you don't want to receive special offers from companies with whom you have an existing relationship. But do not equate that with offers for cheap Cialis sent to every address in the free world.
13. There is no such thing as Valentimes day. It's Valentine's day. ValentiNNNNNNe's day.