Floating? More like floundering.

I had a crisis of personality when I was around 20. I know - crisis at 20 - the very thought is ridiculous. But it was what it was and it's had a lasting impact on my life. Until that point, I knew exactly who I was and exactly what I wanted out of my life. Then one morning, I woke up and realized that I was wrong. Tres cliche, isn't it? Since then, I have been drifting professionally. I have taken any path that seemed interesting and for the most part, it has been rewarding to float along. I have discovered a lot of jobs that I never knew existed. I have uncovered aptitudes that were well hidden. As the inimitable John Denver sang, "It's really fine to have the chance to hang around." Now, I find that I have floated my way into unpleasant waters. It's too cold and the fish are scarce. I need to start swimming. The problem is that I seem to have forgotten how. I'm floating here in the middle of this godforsaken lake and I have less than no idea of how to swim for shore. I don't like where I am. But I don't know where I want to go, and even if I did, I don't know how to get there from here. Besides, no matter how unpleasant, this place is at least familiar. What if I end up somewhere worse? What if I end up somewhere exactly the same? What if there really isn't anything better for me? I think maybe I would like to teach. That was the plan for a long time. I'd float around until my children were older, then head back to school and eventually teach college-level linguistics or literature. And that still sounds like a happy idea, except for the waiting. I think maybe I would like to teach younger people. Can I do that? Can I teach children? Do I have that in me? Or would I end up screaming obscenities at the children when they can't read? I think maybe I would like to write. But write what? And for whom? And I'm afraid that would be a hefty paycut. I cannot step backwards financially. I think maybe I would like to be an entrepeneur. I would like to create something lovely and sell it for outrageous sums of money. But that's a big risk and I am not a risk-taker. So I guess for now, I just keep floating until I'm unhappy enough to actually take a risk. How long will that be, I wonder?