One of us is wiggly

I just made the hat this weekend and someone felt a little silly.

How to (not) Knit a Hat for a Newborn

Cast on 60 stitches. Knit for 5". Decrease 6 stitches evenly, every other row. Stop after 4 decrease rows to admire your work. Notice that the hat looks like it would fit your 3 year old daughter's head. Bribe said daughter with a tootsie roll to try on the unfinished hat. Curse. Rip.

Cast on 42 stitches. Attempt to join and realize that your size 8 circular needle is too long. Dig in bag and find size 7 double points. Briefly consider getting up and hunting for size 8 double points, then decide it's not worth the effort. Transfer to size 7s. Knit for a few inches. Notice that the hat looks like it would fit a fetus. Curse. Rip.

Cast on 50 stitchs to size 7 double points. Knit two rows. Notice that it's time for bed. Curse. Sleep.

What? What? I said WHAT?

I took Jacob to a birthday party at Monkey Joe's yesterday evening. It's one of those indoor play businesses filled with giant inflatables. There were bouncers, slides, some sort of weird inflated rock climbing wall, and a giant monkey-adorned inflatable chair for the birthday girl. I am quite proud to say that I did not pop the chair, in spite of a strong urge to drive my knitting needle into the leering monkey face.

I'm not too proud to admit that I took my knitting because I wanted to impress people. I'm knitting a lace sock at the moment. I saw another woman knitting a bulky garter stitch square in the adult seating area. I shoved Jacob in the general direction of an inflatable (No, son, that giant purple monkey isn't scary at all!) and perched next to the other knitter. "Ha! We had the same idea, I see!" I grinned at her ready to pull my complicated sock out of my bag.

"What?" she replied with a blank smile. I'd been foiled by the roar of dozens of fans that were keeping the inflatables inflated.

"I SAID LOOKS LIKE WE HAD THE SAME IDEA!"

"What?"

"SAME IDEA! WE HAD THE SAME IDEA! SEE? I'M KNITTING TOO! SAAAAAAMME IDEEEEEEEEEA!"

She gave me a polite nod, then turned her chair away from me. I spent the rest of the evening knitting by myself. The parents all gave up on conversation beyond "hello" and "been a long time!" And I didn't even get a piece of cake.