Human Dim Sum

Summer has officially arrived. Arrived isn't exactly the right word. It's more like summer slunk in the back door like an uninvited guest. You were having a perfectly wonderful time with Spring when you realize that the ambiance has changed. Then you see Summer lurking over by the punch bowl. Before you even have a chance to say goodbye, Spring is out the front door. The party is over and everyone is milling about, listless and unhappy. In St. Louis, the heat doesn't bake or scorch. It steams. The air is so thick that it provides resistance as you walk. If you squint your eyes just right, you can see people pushing the air around as they move through it. The humidity rankings get more and more ridiculous. "Be careful out there, folks! The heat index is 105 with 96% humidity!" 96% humidity?! Isn't that technically underwater? Sweating offers no relief. The sweat cannot evaporate since the air is already over-saturated. Instead, you just add layers of uncomfortable slickness to your skin as the day passes. By the time the sun sets, you feel like human dim sum ever so gently steamed in your own juices. From the safe vantage point of an air-conditioned home, the world looks verdant and inviting. Then you step outside. Everything green smells like cabbage. Even in the middle of the night, the lawn smells overcooked. Even in the middle of the night, the air wraps itself around you like a shroud. Welcome to summer. I'm locking myself inside until fall.