Cookies, Goals, and Birthday Parties

First, a cookie for Carrie since she's a smarty-pants who figured out my fisherman crush. That picture made me laugh really, really hard. Second, Katie tagged me with a goal meme. Katie would do that because she's like all goal-oriented and productive. My goals tend to be smaller and simpler like:

1. Feed children every day.
2. Don't go batshit crazy until Friday.
3. Wear clean clothes.

But because I like Katie and because I strive to be all goal-oriented and productive, I'm taking it seriously. I tend to live day-to-day and while that's terrific for survival (which really, is a lot to ask of parents with young children) it's not so terrific for long-term happiness. So, I offer ten goals both personal and professional for an unspecified period of time. Hey - I'm writing goals. The deadlines will come later. Perhaps I should make setting deadlines one of my goals.

1. Start praying the Angelus morning, noon, and night.
2. Reduce my cursing to the truly necessary instead of an unsightly (unhearingly?) habit.
3. Figure out once and for all what I want to do with my life. Failing that, at least figure out what I want to do next.
4. Write the story that's been rattling around in my head for too long.
5. Reduce my television habit to include only shows that I really enjoy, instead of a long list of shows that are only okay. My time is worth more than only okay.
6. Lose enough weight that the image in the mirror matches the image in my mind.
7. Stop yelling.
8. Become a sql badass.
9. Personal thing between me and Nick that I'm not sharing.
10. Throw a birthday party without a panic attack.

And that nicely brings me to the last topic of birthday parties. I am skilled with the segue, no? Jacob's sixth birthday is on Friday. His sixth birthday party is on Saturday. In years past, I have prepared for Jacob's birthday party by imagining ever larger social catastrophes which will scar Jacob for life. Those catastrophes have never happened. Instead, I am likely scarring Jacob for life by allowing myself to become so tightly coiled that the tiniest problem could launch me to Mars. He wasn't old enough to remember the Great Cupcake Tantrum of his first birthday party or the This Isn't Performance Art This Is Me Losing It Because the Cake Is Not Yet Iced event that started his second birthday party. He is old enough to remember me freaking out over RSVP's, super hero masks, and the fact that I couldn't remember Spiderman colors from last year's party. This year, there will be no freak outs. I will take deep cleansing breaths. I will make lists of what needs to be done, have Nick check them, and then complete those lists in a timely fashion. I will remember that this is a birthday party, no more and no less. And when I feel the panic coming on, I will sing the Spiderman theme song.

Spiderman, Spiderman, Does whatever a spider can Spins a web, any size, Catches thieves just like flies Look Out! Here comes the Spiderman. Is he strong? Listen bud, He's got radioactive blood. Can he swing from a thread Take a look overhead Hey, there There goes the Spiderman. In the chill of night At the scene of a crime Like a streak of light He arrives just in time. Spiderman, Spiderman Friendly neighborhood Spiderman Wealth and fame He's ignored Action is his reward. To him, life is a great big bang up Whenever there's a hang up You'll find the Spider man.