Monday, January 29, 2007

Insult and Invective

I've been doing some unpleasant reading today. Evidently, some morning show aired some snippet about moms having cocktails during play dates. And then the judging began on both sides of the debate. "Moms who drink during play dates are putting their desires above their children's safety!" "Moms who don't drink during play dates are self-righteous prigs who need to loosen up." I also read a snide and unpleasant exchange about car seat choice. The worst of the lot was actually something that I didn't read. It was explicitly intended for only a handful of people, but breadcrumbs were left everywhere - the better for everyone else to know they were excluded. And on and on world without end. Anyway, I had not intended to blog about any of this. More than enough people have expressed variations of my opinion anyway, and my little seldom read blog is not going to change the world or the people in it. But then I happened across a gem of a statement at The Anchoress. "That sort of writing betrays one’s interior noise and adds nothing to one’s argument." She was actually referring to insults about others' appearance, yet it applies fantastically. Insults reveal more about the speaker than about the insulted. Drink at play dates, don't drink at play dates, buy expensive car seats, buy moderately priced car seats, whatever. But when you insult someone for making any of those choices, you betray your interior noise and reveal to all your weakness. Frankly, it's a lesson that I should have learned a long time ago.

6 comments:

MrsDubois said...

It sounds like these things you didn't read really hurt your feelings, and that plain sucks. I wonder if you chatted with the people who said them--maybe you'd find out that their intent wasn't divisive, but rather innocent and explicable? And...well, of course, if they even said those things at all?

Just something I was curious about.

Chelsea said...

I like that quote, I really do. Thanks for sharing it!

Laura said...

I like that quote too, Christy. And I agree that insults to tell more about the insulter than the insulted. I still don't know why you don't write - you should write some freelance articles for your local paper or something. You've got a great voice.

Laura said...

Insults DO tell, not "to" tell. I can't edit my comment!!

Christy said...

No, my feelings weren't hurt by things I didn't read. How could they be? I didn't read them. lol Not everything is intended for my eyes and that's ok. Well, there is privacy and there is exclusion and neer the twain shall meet.

And really, this is more about me learning about me than anything else.

ella6599 said...

Good quote, and a nice blog- thanks for sharing the link :)