Thank you?

I have been turning inward a bit lately. I am trying to have a productive Lent. My spirituality has been a little mechanical lately. So I'm giving something up (which I have not done in years and years) in the hope that a little more focus and a little less distraction will eventually bear fruit. So far, not so good. That's the trouble with fruit. It requires patience.

Last Wednesday, I attended the most unsatisfying Ash Wednesday service ever. I was sick. It was my lunch hour and I was feeling rushed and pressured. It was a different parish than my usual and I didn't know the priest. The church was newer, with less decoration than I prefer. The homily was about wild fires. Pick an excuse - it just was not working for me.

Instead of fighting it, I let my mind wander a bit. I knew that I had to develop a lesson plan for Sunday's Children's Liturgy, so I started thinking back to activities that had succeeded in the past. That's when I remembered the sin lesson. I found the lesson online the first year I taught Children's Liturgy. The goal was to teach the children how sin can change us from the inside out. I had a heart shape cut from plastic transparency, a marker, and some Windex. We took turns talking about ways that we hurt other people and putting a big black mark on the heart to illustrate that sin. Once the heart was almost black, we held it up and looked at each other through it and laughed about how very distorted we all were. "Sally is missing her nose!" Then, of course, we Windexed the transparency clean again to demonstrate God's ability to transform us.

Since then, I have been mulling over my marked up heart. It is patently obvious that I'm viewing certain people and events through a dirty filter. It is a little less obvious exactly how to get that filter sparklingly clear again. How do you get a fresh take on a not-so-fresh relationship? Where do I buy spiritual Windex and can I get a coupon?

Wait, now is the time?

I seem to have become the cliche - the mom blogger who disappears for weeks at a time. I could say that I've been busy (I have) or that I've been uninspired (also true) or even that I've been on my knees cleaning up sticky glass from a fantastic medicine bottle accident that defies description (and I was, er, indisposed in the bathroom at that moment). But the real truth is that I've been playing video games. I have been sucked into some weird winter video game vortex. Beware! You might also be in danger! In order to prevent my brain from completely petrifying as my fingers become ever twitchier, I'm going to attempt to actually string together a few thoughts about Lent.

For some reason, this Lent is a tough one for me. It snuck up on me. Ash Wednesday came early this year. I barely finished packing away the wise men before turning my attention to the desert. I'm not ready for the desert! I haven't made plans! I haven't gathered waterskins and all the other paraphernalia one expects to need on such a journey! Or maybe, just maybe, that's the point. Maybe this is the season that I'm supposed to just drop everything and face God unprepared. Maybe I need to stop wearing the desert paraphernalia as armor and just go into the desert, trusting that I will come out the other side better for my experience. I am both hopeful and terrified.

Challenge: Rice or Water

Lent starts Wednesday, for those of us who observe it. Lent is traditionally a time of penance, fasting, and alms-giving for Catholics. The fasting part is always a problem for me. Woe is the person who crosses me on a fast day when I'm crabby and irritable. I know that fasting is supposed to bring clarity in many religious traditions, but I've never had that experience. Last night, while I was complaining about eating chicken again, I found the rice bowl packet in my son's school folder. I moaned and groaned about high quality, easily available food while millions of people in the world have poor quality food that is not readily available to them. Shame on me. Needless to say, my family will be participating in Operation Rice Bowl this season. I would like to challenge everyone who reads this blog to do the same. You don't have to be Catholic and the contents of your rice bowl don't necessarily need to go to Catholic Relief Services. Just eat a simple, inexpensive meal once or twice a week and deposit the money that you've saved on that meal in a cardboard rice container. On Easter (or Passover, or the spring solstice, or just the first day that you see buds on your trees), give that money to a hunger relief organization. I will post a cheap recipe every week (provided by CRS) if you need an idea of what to make. And while we're on the topic of hunger, let's talk about water too. More than one billion people in the world do not have a safe supply of drinking water. WaterPartners International is an organization that focuses on sustainable water projects in developing countries. My friends Jolyn and Matt introduced this charity to me a few years ago, and I admire its mission. If you aren't up for the rice bowl challenge, please consider a donation for clean, potable water.