Gravity, the Trickster

Sunday afternoon, Jacob and I attended a Blue and Gold Banquet. It was my very first and it was a complete surprise. We had made a few decorations, so I was prepared for the pirate theme ahead of time (Seriously? Pirates? Do we want our boys to become rapists, looters, and pillagers? I do not understand why outlaws are held up as role models for our children.) but I was not prepared for the nearly life-size wooden boat constructed in the gym. Nor was I prepared for the three and a half hour agenda. I nearly fainted dead away but was saved by a swashbuckler who loosened my corset. Or perhaps it was just another parent who made a sarcastic comment. Either way, I caught myself before I hit the floor, er, the deck.

I gave Jacob a stern warning that he was to stay in his seat with his mouth closed. For Jake, that is quite possibly the most challenging request ever made. He can climb mountains, add two digit numbers, read chapter books, build an electrical circuit, but he cannot sit in a chair. With a valiant effort, he actually sat still in the chair for over an hour. Then, his body started rebelling against him. A leg jiggled. A butt wiggled. An elbow flapped. Then the chair folded with a metallic clang that echoed around the gymnasium and Jacob vanished.

Silence fell as everyone turned to find the source of the clang. Then, across the table, I saw two grubby hands and a cowlick appear. Jake pulled himself up, righted his chair, and sat back down. He looked at me, shocked, and said, "Huh. I didn't expect THAT to happen!"